She wrote (with her permission I share):
Oh my Heart, you are Kathryn (Olds). I have so missed you. I found your kids-faith site and it dawned on me who Kat is. I love your site. I too am losing my 2 oldest children to the way of the world and am in a panic. The more I remove outside forces the more I am hated. The more I testify and bring them to the Lord the more they resent it. My 2 youngest seem different but are greatly influenced by the eldests’ seemingly “free” life and obsession with music, TV, iPods, “hanging” with friends and I live in dire fear for their souls. I have come to the conclusion that much of the problem lies within my own attitude and behavior. I have complained about life and the injustice of it all, and just recently have found new joy and contentment in the Lord. I am OK with my situation in life and realize we live the good life. He is my Shepherd and I lack for nothing. REALLY. I love you and your constant faith. Jared is a great kid.
Your friend in God,
This reminded me of a time four years ago when Melissa made some choices and I had to display some tough love. Very tough! So tough, in fact, that I cried for three months with the pain of her choices. I was saddened for the life she had chosen. She was my flesh and blood and I loved her with a fierce love – still do!
Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
There is hope and a future. As God said:
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
“Hope” – my keyword here. I had hope and we prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more. I studied and talked. It was amazing that the scriptures that I would study or memorize for that day was a scripture that she needed to hear that very day. And God was faithful; He provided the opportunity and opened that door so I could talk about it with her. He planted Seeds through my mouth (His Word), He watered it, and a great harvest was eventually reaped! There was hope and hope saw its fulfillment.
Jer 31:16-17 This is what the Lord says: “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,” declares the Lord. “They will return from the land of the enemy. So there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord. “Your children will return to their own land.”
Following are two pieces I wrote during and after this time of trial. They describe a mother’s heart from a viewpoint of looking at her little girl, and then of the discipline – the tough love – and how difficult it is!
Then I outline how I handled the situation and describe the victory in Jesus Christ. Not through my power, but through the power of God and His Healing Grace. He DOES answer prayers. Read the story and receive “hope.” Click on each link to read them.
November 1, 2004
Even though I consider her too young to venture out on her own, my daughter left today. There’s an empty spot in my basement and a lonely ache in my heart; my soul is heavy and my eyes refuse to be dry. I want to be alone and meditate, to ponder the reasons, to question the alternatives, but I have four others who require my attention. There is no refuge and no respite from the daily demands of being a mother. It’s kind of an end to a beginning that started 17 years ago…
September 27, 2006
It was 2:00 A.M. and something woke me up. It’s one of those things where a mom just knows something is not right. I went downstairs to check on my 17 year old daughter. She was gone and the window was wide open. Fear and anger both filled my heart. I looked on the bed and found her cell phone. I opened it and checked her text messages to find out where she might have gone. What I found made my world fall out from beneath my feet…
That is our first thought, isn’t it? What did I do that made my children stray? I had seen my first son heavy into drugs and alcohol, suicidal thoughts, anger issues, suffering from some serious issues with his father which had brought forth many addictions. Now I was watching child number two following in those footsteps. What did I do wrong?
So? What happened with Lissy? Let me tell you the rest of the story…
October 11, 2008
Melissa walked a difficult path for four years. Everything I had taught her seemed to be her rule of thumb to rebel against. Tattoos, piercings, drugs, alcohol, Rave parties, living with a man, in addition to other things. She would come home and talk to me about these things and I would listen.
She knew it hurt me to see her go through these things, but she also knew that she had a best friend in me. I didn’t get angry, I didn’t say I told you so (well okay – maybe once or twice), I didn’t scold. I did give advice if she asked for it. I gave her truth when it was prompted by the Holy Spirit. I gave hugs and held her as she cried in frustration, or anger, or disappointment. I never paid for her mistakes and she never asked it of me.
As time goes by, God continually works more miracles. Read the final chapter… well, it’s really never the end, is it?