I received a post from a lady in a forum, in which she explained the situation with her own Prodigal Daughter. After describing a bit about my own story, she wanted to know more. This is the gist of what I told her (a portion of this has been posted in Our Story, but this goes into a little more detail):
You May Have Read This Before
When my daughter Melissa left, I noticed my fourteen year old son Jared started to follow the same path that she and her oldest brother Christopher took. Their road of drugs, alcohol, lack of job stability, wrong friends, denying God, etc. Jared was just beginning to show the signs. I got angry because obviously I wasn’t doing something right! We went to Church every Sunday, we read scriptures together, we had great talks about everything. But something still didn’t work because my efforts were failing. But that’s not the end of the story…
God led me to change things in the home by giving me a role model to follow. I followed in my brother’s footsteps and took mainstream television out of the home. The only thing that we watch on the television are DVD’s and videos now. Even there our collection was cleaned out and replaced with purely uplifting, positive shows. All secular music got dumped and I went on a Christian music shopping spree. It included everything from slow worship, to new age, rap, hard rock, heavy metal, etc. They had variety and a choice now. I threw out all books that were not classics or educational. I pulled Jared out of public school and gave him a classical education. His younger siblings, Erin and Preston began their homeschooling experience also.
The Method
Once the changes were implemented, and after I had read some classics, Jared made a mistake. A big mistake and one that I am not at liberty to share. I spoke to him about our Founding Fathers, about character and integrity, about doing what was right. At the end of our two hour, loving conversation he was sobbing. I asked him why, and he responded because he had lost character. He got the message. Classics change us and they help us to encourage others to change.
I started reading the classics to them, beginning with the Bible. We would read together, and then I would ask questions to really make them think. Classics build character. Whenever I finish a classic with the kids, they all want to be something like the main protagonist. They are starting to see the value of character, determination, commitment, integrity, honesty, and becoming a leader.
Jared read Laddie by Gene Stratton-Porter. Because he was born with autistic tendencies, he could not form relationships easily with his younger brother and sister. After reading Laddie, he decided he wanted to be a better brother, and with God’s help he accomplished that. They have a great relationship together!
I began sharing God stories with my kids – my God stories. What He did in my life, how He healed me and how He provides for us no matter what. They started to see how God truly was involved in our lives. Our Bible study isn’t a time you sit and just read – it becomes exciting stories of God’s Word as I point out to them each word in a verse that is important.
Here is an example:
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I would read that to them and then say, “Notice that it says in ALL things? Not just some things but in every little thing. What does God do? He works for the good. Not the bad, but the good. So that is something that we can count on. Everything that happens to us is because God is working a good out. It may be uncomfortable right now, but the end will be good. For whom? For those who love Him. Have you accepted Him as your Savior? Do you love Him? If you’ve accepted Him, then He has called you for His purpose. So, we are in that category. Now we know that no matter what is going on, because we love God and He has personally called us, we can be assured that only good will come of it for His glory. We can trust Him.”
That’s how we read scripture now.
A Renewing
Jared, Erin and Preston slowly started changing because Romans 12:2 is true!
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
I could see that as their minds were renewed (good things in, good things out), they were slowly transforming into God-loving, God-fearing people with character and integrity. It actually worked! Wow! God is good!
Now Jared is twenty years old, and he doesn’t date because he knows that God is preparing his future bride for him. He is free to have friends that are girls without worrying about “does she like me?” or “is she the one?” or “how do I get her to notice me?” He has a heart for God that gets him up every morning in prayer and meditation, Bible study throughout the day, singing praises all day long, going to college and having a ball, enjoying all types of people with true non-condemning, non-judgmental love for everyone.
Erin and Preston walk the same path that he does. Preston often has talks with his friends about the love of Jesus. He invites them to church. Erin talks to older kids about forgiveness, moving on, giving people the opportunity to change, don’t date, etc. And they are not weird… LOL. They are much loved by everyone who meets them!
I am not boasting about my works here – just God’s works. Had He not prompted me in all of these areas, we would not be who we are today. All the glory is His!
Psalm 44:8 In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever.
The Trickle Effect
What happened next? My two oldest (the ones who had strayed) began to say that their younger brother was too much into religion. A misconception because it’s not about religion – it’s about a vital and loving relationship with Jesus Christ. But Melissa and Christopher still walked in darkness and could not comprehend that light. However, when Christopher was trying to come off of an addiction, guess who he wanted to pray over him? The one who was too much into religion. 
Christopher and Melissa saw the results of the changes in our home, and over time they started changing too! They both walk with God, have cleaned out their own homes, and are now pursuing God with all of their hearts! They are out there doing the work of God.
Melissa continually seeks the lost and shows them the road to Jesus. Her life revolves around her relationship with God and she experiences His Personal Involvement in her life. Christopher now speaks at High Schools about the dangers of drug abuse, and he too walks closely with Our Lord. He has joined our Praise & Worship band and accompanies us as we play at churches and other places.
It really does work – radical parenting, backed by God, filled with good input, changes our children.
Is it an easy road? Heavens, no! It requires a lot of work and effort! There have been many times that I’ve had to forgo much needed sleep in order to talk to one of my children because they needed me. Conversations led by God made big changes in their hearts that produced good fruit.
Making these drastic changes in my home wasn’t a very happy experience. I received flak about it, and a lot of arguing, but I explained how God wanted us to renew our minds. He was going to transform us. Besides Romans 12:2, I showed them scripture such as:
Deuteronomy 7:26 Do not bring a detestable thing into your house or you, like it, will be set apart for destruction. Utterly abhor and detest it, for it is set apart for destruction.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (Emphasis mine)
I have been criticized for these parenting techniques by other people. All I can say is that I am one of three families that parent this way with 100% success. I am confident it is a valid way to parent and get Godly results in your children.
I’m not saying that not one of my kids will ever stray, because I can’t predict the future. It’s not the end..
However, I can say that they are being empowered to overcome many temptations and trials, how to relate with people of the faith and people without faith, and have a better chance to walk in God’s way. The chance of failure has been reduced by Radical Parenting.
Is it worth all the effort, blood, sweat, and tears? To see my five children walk with a heart for God has been the greatest blessing in my life. To see them open and teachable to His teachings gives me hope for their future. To see them boldly stand for what is right, and using scripture to back their stance gives me courage. To see them forgive freely and love openly warms my heart.
Is it worth it? Yes!
