Rave Party - a symptom of Ecstasy
Drugs equal devastation. They cripple your life and pull you away from God’s purpose for you. Drugs physically alter your brain and impair your judgment. They create addictions which are hard to overcome. And lives are sometimes lost because of drugs – in more ways than one. (http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/addiction/drugs/)
So, what should a parent do after finding out that their child is on drugs? I can’t tell you what to do but I can share what God led me to do when I discovered my children were on drugs.
My son Christopher was addicted to Heroin. He began with the popular pain meds and progressed until he was injecting himself. Something he vowed he would never do. And my daughter Melissa did everything except meth and crack. Her favored drug of choice was Ecstasy. A lot of it. While some would take one or two doses a night, she was popping nine. Needless to say, both of them led erratic lives. They both ended up serving jail time, depression dogged their steps, jobs were hard to keep, deceit flowed freely, and at times so did stealing. Their lives were a mess!
Such a mess that I realized that I couldn’t do this on my own. I needed God’s wisdom and help.
John 15:5 (New International Version, ©2011) “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
Prayer
The first thing I did was pray. In fact, I prayed throughout the whole ordeal!
For Me
Strength: There was a time when I wasn’t strong and I allowed Christopher to stay at home, not working and not cleaning. I knew he was on drugs, but I couldn’t bring myself to show him the door. I did more harm than good. I was enabling him to stay an addict because he didn’t have to pay for his mistakes. He was free-loading and I knew it. After a while he left for California and I felt a relief. When he came back, I still was not strong enough to keep him out. I was a baby Christian and still getting to know the power of God. We got to a point where we finally gave him an ultimatum and within a month he was on his own.
With Melissa I prayed that I would be strong enough to let her grow up the hard way. Melissa knew I loved her, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for her.
Isaiah 41:10 (New Living Translation)
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
Wisdom: I prayed for Wisdom to know what to say and when to say it. There were many times when I read a scripture in the morning and God would used it later on in the day to relay something to Melissa. Here is a thought that goes with that: you must be reading your Scriptures, for how can you share God’s Word with your child if you don’t know it? There were also many times that she would share something with me that I didn’t really want to hear; I wanted to respond with instruction, but God stayed my tongue.
James 1:5 (New International Version, ©2011) If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Comfort: I prayed for comfort from my God – I was hurting. Nothing hits a parent harder than seeing your precious children walking the ways of the world and rejecting God. It is very difficult to see your child dressed in prison clothes and shackles, being led to the judge for sentencing. My heart was broken and I needed His arms around me. And comfort I received.
One day, a beautiful woman of God prayed with me. In the middle of the prayer she asked me if I had a daughter. I replied that I had two. She then told me that I didn’t have to worry about my oldest daughter; God had Melissa in His Hands and He was in control. I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders right then and there. That was two years into the drug mess. This woman’s prophecy proved true!
Matthew 5:4 (New Living Translation) God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
For My Children
Salvation: I prayed many times for the salvation of my children. Healing comes through knowing Jesus Christ and opening our hearts to His Ministration. I knew that His Way was pretty much the only way to ensure a life free of addiction.
I prayed Ephesians 1:17 consistently and where “you” was present, I inserted their names:
Ephesians 1:17 (New International Version, ©2010) I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. (emphasis mine)
Attention: I prayed that God would get Melissa’s attention and get it good. There were days when I would pray for God to ensure a consequence would happen that would put her in such a hole that the only way out would be through God’s help. The next day Lissy would call me with a tale of woe and I would let her know of my prayer. “Stop paying for me!” she’d often cry. Each time I emphatically answered, “I will never stop praying for you!”
Proverbs 3:12 (New Living Translation) For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.
Freedom from Addiction: I also prayed that God would heal them from their addiction. And God did.
As a step towards overcoming his Heroin addiction, Christopher joined a program where he would be prescribed Methadone as a controlled alternative. The program is supposed to take one year; he was now on year five, with a troubled marriage, a one year old child and a financial mess on his hands. Chris called us one night for prayer. He specifically asked that Jared be present, the same brother whom Christopher thought was a Jesus fanatic. 
The prayer went along the lines of God restructuring his brain, cells being renewed and all foreign chemicals that were not of God to be removed. We asked for Super Natural Intervention.
The next day, I received a sad phone call from a devastated son. Christopher told me that he had made a big mistake. He confessed that during the prayer he felt his brain moving around and saw flashes of light; he described it as fissures being joined again. When he woke up the next day, he had no need for the drug. No after-effects, no cravings, nothing. He was free! But fear stepped in and he went to the clinic for a dose of Methadone because he was afraid of being without it. God honored that lack of faith and allowed Christopher to get off the addiction using man’s way. But Christopher did experience that miracle and he won’t ever forget it. He personally witnessed how God can work in us.
Hebrews 11:6 (New Living Translation) And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.
Tough Love
Reaping What is Sown: I allowed Melissa to reap the consequences of her choices. I informed her that the choices were to stay and obey the rules of the home, or leave and live like an adult with adult consequences. She chose to leave. My last words at that time were, “I will always be here for you. If you need advice, emotional support, or even a hug, I will give them to you. But I will never pay for your mistakes.”
Melissa ended up paying for her mistakes. She paid court fines and she paid in time invested in required classes. For more information, read the articles: She’s Gone and The Rest of Lissy’s Story.
Being There: I mentioned it before, I will say it again – I was there for Melissa and Christopher. Many times I held crying adults that were struggling with addictions. It is a hard thing to overcome, and the self-recrimination that comes with trying to overcome addictions and failing is very strong. Don’t kick your children while they’re down, no need to say I told you so. Just speak words of comfort and let them know that they can overcome – with God’s help.
Always have hope and convey that to your children. Even when they fail over and over again. It took years for salvation to enter their hearts and for addictions to be conquered. But these two most important events did occur! Realize that nothing is too small for our God. His power is real and it’s there for you and your children because He loves you and your children fiercely.
Jeremiah 32:17 (New International Version, ©2010) “Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.”
I maintained a friendship with my children. I listened to their horrible stories of the things that they were doing and responded in one of two ways:
“Really? Oh… hmmm.. aha! I see.” All the while my heart was breaking and I was crying inside.
Or
“Interesting that you should share that with me today. Just this morning I read in (insert book, chapter and verse of the Bible) that (insert God’s message for them).” All with a prayer that those seeds being planted would be watered and bear fruit.
Matthew 13:8 (New International Version, ©2010) Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.
But this was always Spirit led. You’ve got to keep that prayer in your heart that you will only speak when God wants you to speak and what God wants you to speak.
Remember I said that I would not pay for their mistakes? It was true up to a point. If I saw consistent rebellion in their attitudes, then I did nothing to help except prayer, give advice when asked, and hold them when they were hurting. But sometimes, under the direction of God, if I saw that they were trying, I would help out. Those were the times that the love hook in their heart was solidified a little more.
Read the Signs: Know your children so well that you know when they are hurting and need comfort, when they are searching and need instruction, and when they are rebelling and need God’s discipline. I knew when Melissa was backsliding because she would withdraw from me. This gave me the opportunity to pray specifically for a lesson to teach her.
Rely on God
I cannot stress enough that all this was done under God’s direction. Prayer for His Wisdom, His Help, His Healing, His Words, needs to be uttered often. We cannot do it on our own. Sometimes our flesh says that we need to do something one way, and logically it makes sense. But our ways are not God’s Ways, and our thoughts are not His Thoughts. He knows best when, where and how. Ask for His help – don’t do this on your own.
Isaiah 55:8 (New International Version, ©2010)
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
If you have any specific questions about this or need more information, feel free to contact us through the Contact page, or leave a comment. We will do our best to join you in prayer, in seeking God’s Will or in supporting you.
Oh yeah, let me tell you the end of all this. Both Christopher and Melissa lead very productive, happy lives after receiving salvation from God and His Healing Touch. Miraculous recovery has been evident in both of them. Neither one of my children experience any after-effects of the drugs that they took. Specifically, Melissa recovered all of her mental faculties, although it was very difficult at first. God is a God of Miracles and you can rely on Him through the most difficult of times.
Isaiah 43:2 (New Living Translation)
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
God bless you with His Wisdom, His Strength and His Comfort in Jesus’ Precious Name!
More articles on this subject are available at When They Stray Index.
